rash that's driving me crazy. The rash is all over my arms and neck and I'm
sure it's an allergic reaction but I don't know what to.
The problem is, I don't want to go because I don't like my doctor.
Unfortunately, I don't know if I can find another one that's any better.
I could say that my dislike for my doctor began when he had me waiting in
the examination room for almost half an hour, and this was after waiting for
at least 15 minutes in his lobby. I finally got fed up and walked out. He
called me the next day and apologized.
I could say that it started when I injured my wrist and I went to see him,
despite having no insurance. He walked into the examination room and refused
to even look at my injury. He just handed me a referral to a hand
specialist (who I wasn't able to see-no insurance), wrote a prescription for
a hand brace (again, no insurance and I was already using an OTC product)
and told me to take Ibuprofen or Aleve (which I was already doing).
He also charged me for the visit.
But, amazingly, neither of those reasons are why I absolutely can NOT stand
the man.
I don't like him because he treated me like a lazy fat chick.
About five years ago, I started to notice that I was having trouble losing
weight. I'd always had issues with my weight but, when I actually exercised
and cleaned up my diet, I was able to lose weight at a healthy rate ( 1 - 2
lbs. a week). Then, suddenly, that stopped.
There was a six-month period in 2007 where I was walking 8 to 10 miles at
least 4 days a week, lifting weights and eating 1700 calories a day of lean
protein, fruits, vegetables and whole grains. It was the same thing I always
did but, instead of losing weight, I kept gaining and losing the same 2 lbs.
each week. I wasn't making any strength gains, my measurement's didn't
change. I made ZERO progress.
Then, in August of that year, I changed residences. I was in constant motion
for an entire month: packing, transporting, cleaning and unpacking. I'd get
up at dawn start working and wouldn't stop until I either had to go to work
or I collapsed in bed that night. I ate one meal a day, usually dollar
cheeseburgers from some fast-food place.
I lost six lbs.
At the end of the month, I collapsed on the couch for two weeks. I didn't
exercise and I ate normally.
I gained it all back.
In 2008, I went to my Dr. with concerns about my weight. I felt that I had a
thyroid problem. First: I was on lithium for six years. That shit is known
to damage the thyroid. Second: I have a family history of thyroid problems.
Third: Age-related metabolism changes aside, it's not normal to do roughly
7000 calories worth of exercise per week and not lose any weight. Not when
you're also counting calories. And no one should have to spend 12 hours a
day in constant motion and starve themselves to lose 1.5 lbs. a week.
Fourth: I was experiencing other symptoms like sensitivity to cold, muscle
aches, fatigue and depression.
The minute I mentioned my weight, his entire demeanor changed. He shut me
out.
I told him about my diet and exercise habits during that six-month period.
He immediately started talking about diet. Actually, he didn't talk about
diet, he merely said that diet plays a huge part and that exercise alone
wasn't enough.
I'm not sure what part of "I was eating 1700 calories a day of lean protein
blah blah" he didn't get. Of course, he didn't get it ALL, because he
stopped listening.
I was just another fat, lazy, delusional slob who needed to put down the
fork, pick up a dumbbell and trade in my twizzlers for carrot sticks.
Sure, I SAID that I worked out but, you know how it is. I was probably
wandering aimlessly around the gym doing 5lb bicep curls or 20lb leg presses
and reading a magazine while mindlessly pedaling on a lifecycle.
And my diet? Well, I was probably lying about that.
After all, if I was REALLY working out and REALLY eating healthily, I
wouldn't be fat.
I practically had to beg him to run a thyroid panel. The results, my TSH
levels were on the high end of the normal range and my T3 & T4 were on the
low end. While my numbers were within range, they were WAY off from my
readings three years before. In the older readings, my TSH was
off-the-charts low and my T3 and T4 were squarely in the middle of normal.
My doctor was concerned about my earlier results, when my only complaint was
sensitivity to cold. He was completely dismissive of the later result. After
all, the first time around I wasn't the fat chick looking for a quick fix.
At the end of the appointment, the longest I'd ever had with him, he
suggested the South Beach Diet.
So, I need to go back to this doctor. I'm overdue for a physical and I
really need to get this blood pressure thing under control.
I'd like to find a doctor that actually LISTENS to me but another doctor
will probably be the same.
I don't want a quick fix.
I just want to be able to lose weight, and maintain a healthy weight,
without having to work out six hours a day. I want to be able to maintain a
healthy weight without starving myself on less than 1000 calories a day. I
want to lift weights and actually make strength gains.
I don't think that's too much to ask.
The other problem is that he made the issue all about food.
Because, of course, fat is all about will power. It's about too much pie in
the hole. Fat is a character flaw.
I will be the first to admit that, at times, my diet is for shit. At times,
I overeat and what I eat is garbage. When I get depressed, I have no desire
to prepare or eat healthy food. When it's really bad, I may go for most of
the day without eating, only to scarf down large quantities of junk in one
sitting.
But here's the deal:
If you're carrying around an extra 10 or 20 lbs., it's probably about food.
If, like me, you're carrying around an extra PERSON, it's probably NOT about
food.
Yes, true, there are the super obese who eat three whole chickens in one
meal but, even then, it's NOT about food. I mean, seriously, what normal,
well-adjusted person (who is not a professional body builder or athlete)
eats three whole chickens in one sitting?
At some point, it stops being about food, and the food starts being about
something else.
The doctor doesn't know (and doesn't WANT to know) fuck all about the
something else. It's easier to just accuse someone of overeating, whether or
not that's actually the problem. It's easier to tell the patient to just TRY
harder than even consider that there might be other factors at work.
So, I have to either find a new doctor or keep going to the old one. But I
have to do it soon because I really need to go.
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