About Freaking Time

So... I started this blog (it seems like) months ago and I'm finally getting around to actually writing something.

I started this blog because I wanted to write my thoughts on The Law of Attraction.

Now, before anyone gets twisted, I'm going to come right out and say that I am NOT a meta-physicist or any other type of physicist. I'm also not trying to sell anyone answers to some cosmic riddle. I ain't no guru and I'm not looking for one either.

The most I know about Quantum Physics is that there's no "N" on the end of "quantum."

I watched "The Secret" and was impressed... by the production values.

I watched "What the Bleep Do We Know" and it got me thinking.

I firmly believe that "The Secret" is no secret and that what I don't know is dwarfed only by the size of the known universe.

I do NOT believe that the Universe is a cosmic sugar daddy just waiting to hand-deliver anything I ask for.

But I DO believe that what comes to me is directly related to what I put out, and that my biggest obstacle in getting what I want is me.

That said, I have been working to put better stuff out there and to get out of my own way.

Of course, it's easier said than done.

I have a lot of anger.

Ok... I have a lot of rage.

I also have a lot of fear and uncertainty. I struggle with depression, and that depression often turns to anger because, otherwise, I'd never get out of bed in the morning.

I've made bad decisions, especially where money is concerned, that are still biting me in the ass today.

I think I may have Adult ADD and am prone to distracted, self-sabotaging behavior.

I'm obese and out of shape despite my best (read half-assed) efforts.

In short, I am a hot mess.

I am just like hundreds of thousands of people who are trying to follow The Secret, or the writings of Napoleon Hill, or Esther and Jerry Hicks.

The ones think, think, think those happy thoughts. Who make dutiful entries into those "Gratitude Journals." Who say positive affirmations five, ten, 100 times a day.

The ones who must be doing something wrong because it's just.

Not.

Working.

I can't tell you how to turn off the negative thoughts or how to avoid waking up with that sinking, doomed feeling.

I can't tell you how to manifest a bajillion dollars with just the power of your mind.

Like I said, I ain't no meta-physicist. I ain't no expert.

I'm just dancing through the graveyard.

Sometimes it's from desperation, or fear--keeping the boogie man at bay.

Other times its from finding joy in unlikely places.

My ultimate goal is more joy and less fear.

This is my time, and this is the record of my time.

I'm taking the wheel and you are welcome to join me on the journey.